What can we do to make sure negative remarks and criticism don’t get us down? The first step is that we realize that there is such a thing. This allows us to take each piece of negativity with a grain of salt. It can be incredibly helpful to acknowledge that our mind and heart may be overreacting about something negative. On the flip side, this knowledge also allows us to make it a point to savor the positivity. Don’t dismiss a compliment out of hand. Instead, savor it, think about it, and make it a point to remember it, and allow it to lift you up when negativity brings you down.
Of course all of this is easier said than done. Since this bias to negativity is hard wired in our brains, it takes a lot of time and effort to build new, more positive habits. Remind yourself each morning that your mind is trying to force you to focus on the negative stuff and that it takes a conscious effort to balance it out by being mindful off all the good and happy things in our lives.
Over time this will allow us to grow a thicker skin when it comes to unwarranted criticism. Should you ignore every single comment or suggestion that you don’t like? Of course not. There is such a thing as constructive criticism that helps us to grow and get better at what we do. What we need to guard against are the negative words, events, and feelings that make us go hide in a cave. We don’t want to encourage inaction in ourselves. Instead, we want to use the positivity around us to lift us up and help us make it through the tough times, get stronger, and get better at what we do.
Reflecting on both the good and the bad on a daily basis can be a great exercise to help us gain a little distance and see everything that’s happening to us in a better light. Keep a journal or set aside some time for quiet contemplation. Talking things out with a friend, particularly when you’re struggling with something negative that you’ve having a hard time getting past is another great idea. Above all, do what you can to outweigh the negativity with the good stuff. Keep a box or file with some of the best positive emails and comments you’ve gotten. Peruse through them whenever you need to counteract something negative. As time goes by you’ll grow that that thicker skin that will protect you from your harshest critics.
Join our private Facebook Group, Improving Every Day, to download a free Happiness Journal where you can record your progress.